Какие бывают родители: Какими бывают РОДИТЕЛИ — Карта слов и выражений русского языка

Какие бывают родители — Сайт для всей семьи — LiveJournal

колонка: Екатерина Чинарова, smartkids.ru

«Современные дети — тираны, а не подчиненные в доме. 
Они не встают, когда в комнату входят старшие.
Они спорят с родителями, болтают в обществе,
пожирают все лакомства со стола и тиранят своих учителей»

(высказывание, приписываемое Сократу)

Советский психолог Лев Выготский, автор социо-культурной теории развития ребенка, сегодня очень популярен на Западе. Главным источником становления ребенка Выготский считал социальную среду. Он ввел специальный термин «социальная ситуация развития» и определил это как «своеобразное, специфическое для данного возраста, исключительное, единственное и неповторимое отношение между ребенком и окружающей его действительностью, прежде всего социальной». Ясно, что в большинстве случаев ближайшим социальным окружением детей являемся мы — их родители. Наше влияние на детей в детстве является наиболее мощным, потому что чаще всего именно мы — главные кормильцы, воспитатели и ругатели. В зависимости от наших убеждений, моды, поколения, к которому принадлежим, мы воспитываем детей так, а не иначе. Все наши подходы к воспитанию, несмотря на их несомненную индивидуальность, условно делят на четыре категории: авторитарный, позволяющий, игнорирующий и демократический.

Три-четыре стиля

О стилях родительства впервые заговорила психолог Диана Бомринд (Diana Baumrind) в 60-гг. прошлого века. Она провела исследование на основе выборки из 100 детей дошкольного возраста. Бомринд интервьюировала родителей, наблюдала за детьми и использовала другие методы исследований. В итоге она выделила четыре важнейших измерения родительства:

— стратегия дисциплинирования

— теплота

— коммуникационный стиль

— ожидания зрелости и контроля.

Авторитарные родители ценят подчинение авторитетам, и послушание ради послушания. В рамках этого подхода дети – дикари, которых необходимо научить слушаться, подчиняться: так они станут воспитанными взрослыми. Хорошие родители с точки зрения сторонников этого подхода те родители, которые прогибают волю ребенка, подчиняя его правилам и ограничениям. Их девиз: дашь ребенку палец — откусит всю руку! Такие родители устанавливают правила, но не объясняют их детям. Вот пример диалога между авторитарным родителем и ребенком.

— Мама, можно Миша останется у нас на ночлег?

— Нет.

— Но почему?

— Потому что я так сказал/сказала.

Стратегия дисциплинирования — строгая, коммуникационный стиль закрытый и односторонний, ребенка контролируют до самой зрелости. Обычно в такой семье не достает человеческого тепла, родители несколько холодны и отстраненны. Дети же нередко вырастают либо пассивными, либо бунтарями.

Родители разрешающие или либеральные очень любят своих детей. Иногда даже побаиваются их сильной воли и характера. Они смотрят на поступки детей свозь пальцы. «Ну это же дети!» — девиз таких родителей. С одной стороны, либеральные родители дают детям возможность учиться на ошибках, исследовать мир и принимать решения самостоятельно. В таких семьях работают не правила, а скорее руководства к действию. Здесь родители очень человечны, их отношения с детьми пронизаны любовью, лаской и теплом. Однако требования к детям низки или полностью отсутствуют. Контроля тоже немного. Главное — избежать конфронтации. Родители либералы купят ребенку в магазине любую вещь, лишь бы избежать скандала. Со стороны такая семья напоминает семью обезьянок из известного советского мультика. Статус родителя — друг, общение — на равных.

Третий стиль – демократический или авторитетный. Такие родители устанавливают высокие стандарты для своих детей, при этом сохраняя душевную близость и оказывая поддержку. Они объясняют правила детям и готовы обсуждать эти правила вместе с детьми, при необходимости менять эти правила, если ребенку удается убедить родителей своими аргументами. Когда дети умеют брать на себя ответственность, им эту ответственность частично передают. Ребенку предоставляют свободу в том, чтобы иметь дело с последствиями своего выбора, своеволиями.

Авторитетные родители, по мнению психолога Бомринд, наиболее внимательные и теплые, эффективные. Дети в таких семьях растут счастливыми, здоровыми, открытыми и социально-адаптированными. А все потому что, авторитетные родители устанавливают правила, поскольку наделены ответственностью оберегать детей от бед и опасностей, обладают большим опытом, в отличие от авторитарных родителях, дети которых должны слушаться «потому что я так сказал», «потому что я отец». Авторитетные родители уважаемы детьми, потому что действуют из лучших побуждений и интересов ребенка. Не власть и послушание является залогом успешного диалога, а правильно построенные отношения между взрослым и ребенком.

Кроме выделенных Бомринд трех стилей родительства, выделяют еще один — я бы назвала его пофигистким. Родитель — пофигист обеспечивает основные потребности ребенка, но кажется мало заинтересованным в ребенке — его развитии, его достижениях. Коммуникация или отсутствует или является односторонней. Ребенку родителя — пофигиста всегда кажется, что папе — маме не до него. Пример такого родителя — папаша из известного анекдота: «Сейчас все брошу и буду тебе велосипед чинить».

Как все это сказывается на детях?

Стили родительства, несомненно, оказывают эффект на становление личности ребенка. Так, после Бомринд, было проведено немало исследований, по результатам которых утверждается, что:

— Авторитетный стиль родительства дает на выходе послушных детей, самооценка которых занижена, как, впрочем, и уровень счастья.

— Демократические родители выращивают счастливых, способных и успешных детей.

— Дети разрешающих и все позволяющих родителей не очень счастливы и уверены в себе. Они бунтари и испытывают проблемы с законом, плохо учатся.

— Дети родителей — пофигистов не только несчастны, но им не хватает самоконтроля, самооценка низкая, они редко бывают амбициозными и успешными.

Не все так просто

Если демократический стиль родительства такой замечательный,  возникает вопрос: отчего же мы все не научимся быть авторитетными родителями? И тогда на выходе у нас будут получаться счастливые, уверенные в себе и успешные дети.

Но стиль родительства не выбирают. Психологи считают, что подход к воспитанию во многом зависит от социально бэкграунда, от размера семьи, дохода, личности, от того, как нас воспитывали родители, от уровня образования и культуры. То, что нормально для греческих родителей, «ужас — ужас» — для родителей-немцев. Поскольку мы все только учимся быть родителями, у каждого на выходе получается уникальная смесь.

Так, пройдя тест, я убедилась, что угадала стиль родительства верно. В большинстве ситуаций я предпочитаю относиться к своему ребенку как к человеку, способному делать сознательный выбор и заслуживающей уважения личности. Но иногда ситуация просто требует пробудить в себе тирана и жестко сказать «нет» и «потому что нельзя». Когда речь идет о безопасности его или других. В ленивые каникулярные дни я склонна дрейфовать к родителю разрешающему, а иногда, в редкие — редкие дни, когда я смертельно устала — мне стыдно признаваться, но я становлюсь мамой — пофигисткой.

Какие бывают родители

Все родители воспитываю своих чад абсолютно по-разному. Взгляды на воспитание у всех мам и пап различные, а правильные или неправильные они были об этом можно узнать только спустя время, когда ваш ребенок вырастет.

Есть пять основных типов родителей и в них нам помогут разобраться советы психолога, ведь именно он может анализировать людей и их поступки.

Первый тип – это «родители под каблуком». Такая ситуация может происходить в тех семьях, где один ребенок. В этом случае родители исполняют все капризы ребенка, покупают кучу игрушек и разрешают, есть много сладостей. Такой подход является не лучшим к воспитанию ребенка. Ведь он будет думать, что является центром земли и что ему все можно. Но когда он попадет во взрослую жизнь, то поймет, что все совсем не так.

Второй тип – это «родители-начальники». Такие родители воспитывают ребенка в жестких условиях. Могут разбудить в шесть утра, чтобы сделать зарядку и отправить гулять с собакой. Слово «нельзя» используется постоянно, во всех случаях и даже без объяснений. Чадо растет в строгости и по расписанию родителей. Чаще всего потом из таких детей получаются послушные подчиненные, которые не имеют своего мнения либо наоборот бунтари, которые будут идти вперед по головам.

К третьему типу относятся «родители-фанатики». Такие мамы и папы считают, что ребенку совсем не нужно детство с играми, это пустая трата времени. Они отдают ребенка с трех лет на всевозможные курсы и кружки, водят на занятия к репетиторам. Считают, что ребенок должен многому научиться и многое уметь. Но чаще всего это оборачивается тем, что малыш, став подростком, вообще забрасывает учебу и не желает учиться.

Четвертый тип – это «родители-друзья». Такие родители выстраивают доверительные отношения с ребенком, пытаются вникать во все, чем занимается их ребенок. Но чаще всего они не обладают родительским авторитетом, но надеются на то, что ребенок обязательно поделится с ними своими проблемами. В таких условиях чадо самостоятельно развивается, и позитивно воспринимает окружающий мир.

И последний тип – это «родители-наставники». Это лучший тип отношений между ребенком и родителями. Ведь они не давят на него, не пытаются реализовать посредством его свои мечты, дают выбрать свой жизненный путь, всегда готовы помочь советом и поделиться опытом. Такие дети растут самодостаточными оптимистами, которые уверены в своих силах, много добиваются в жизни.

Прежде, чем все разрешать или наоборот все запрещать своему чадо, лучше задуматься и понять, правильно ли вы его воспитываете, что вы хотите дать своему ребенку и чему научить. Помните о том, что дети никогда не будут насильно заниматься тем, что им не нравится, ведь это отбивает у них желание и делает из них лентяев.

Дата публикации: 21.04.15

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Improve your communication with your partner and separate disagreements from discussions about what is best for your kid. 90038 90067 90140 How to be a good parent after divorce 90141 90002 90189 90189 90003 90002 When you are already separated or divorced you likely have some type of co-parenting agreement in place.Respect this arrangement at all times. 90003 90002 Except if you have experienced serious issues like physical or emotional abuse or alcohol or drug abuse, sharing involvement in your kids ‘lives between both parents is the best solution after a divorce. 90003 90002 Even if you now have separate live, encourage your child to spend time with and maintain a close relationship with your ex-partner. Although the shared responsibilities, coordination, and decision-making can be difficult and exhausting, kids who enjoy the company and guidance of both parents have the best chance at happiness and success.90003 90002 Make sure that your arrangements are consistent and unexpected things are kept to the minimum. This will help make your kid feel cared for and secure. 90003 90002 A peaceful cooperation with your ex-partner will teach your kid the value of compromise and joint problem-solving. 90003 90202 90002 It is important to separate the feelings of hurt and anger that you may have from your behavior in front of your child. Do not involve your child in any disagreement or conflict. 90003 90205 90002 Focus on regular, good communication with your ex-partner.Make joint decisions that affect your child. Try to function as a team and support one another when it comes to the wellbeing of the kids. 90003 90002 Resolve issues quickly. Compromise. Do not let small stuff get in the way and escalate. Always do what is best for your child. 90003 90018 Parenting tips by age 90021 90002 Parenting style and decisions change along with the child’s development. The needs and expectations of your baby and toddler differ from those of your schooler and teen. As their interaction with the world expands, their maturity level increases.You should always gage and balance their maturity level and ability to handle responsibility with the autonomy and freedom that you allow them to have. 90003 90140 Parenting tips for infants 90141 90002 90217 90217 90003 90002 Infants have very basic needs and they have not yet developed the distinction between themselves and their environment. They require warmth, rest, safety, and nourishment and time to establish a bond with their primary caretaker. Their main developmental tasks are to learn to eat, sleep, and become used to their bodies and interaction with others.They are starting to develop trust. Therefore, as a parent, you should … 90003 90106 90035 Establish a routine of feeding, sleep, and caressing. 90038 90035 Learn how to comfort your baby for the best results. 90038 90035 Look after yourself and get sleep and rest when you can. 90038 90035 Relax and enjoy your baby by not focusing on small issues. 90038 90131 90002 All too soon, your baby will become a toddler and he or she will start to move around more, explore, and interact. 90003 90140 Parenting tips for toddlers 90141 90002 90237 90237 90003 90002 At the age around one to two years, toddlers start to learn to walk and talk.Discovering more of the environment and people around them, toddlers become more autonomous and cautiously test their independence. However, they are still self-centered and can be quite stubborn. At this age, their language and physical skills develop quickly. They learn to navigate rules in their world. 90003 90106 90035 Support your toddler’s attempts to be more independent. 90038 90035 Allow him or her to develop a sense of mastery. 90038 90035 Set limits to ensure their safety and your well-being.90038 90035 Show that you tolerate his or her anger and other emotions. 90038 90035 Try to see things from your toddler’s perspective. 90038 90035 Keep your child safe during their explorations. 90038 90035 Encourage his or her curiosity. 90038 90131 90140 Parenting tips for preschoolers 90141 90002 90261 90261 90003 90002 Between the ages of about three and five, your preschooler becomes slightly less self-centered, more aware of his or her place in the world and start learning to manage their emotions and behavior.Their social skills develop quickly, which set the basis for when they venture into the world and go to school. They are experiential learners and test the boundaries of their bodies and minds. 90003 90002 To set your preschooler on the right path, you should … 90003 90106 90035 Teach by demonstrating empathy and talk about feelings. 90038 90035 Continue to create routine in his or her daily life, which is comforting as your preschooler discovers new things that can be scary to them. 90038 90035 Ensure that he or she gets sufficient rest and sleep.90038 90035 Monitor what food is available but allow your preschooler to decide how much to eat — provide smaller, regular meals or snacks to prevent consistent and unhealthy eating. 90038 90035 Listen reflectively to your kid on a regular basis. Ask him or her to describe their experiences and feelings. 90038 90035 Set limits but empathize when they disappointment — teach self-discipline rather than enforced punishment. 90038 90035 Interact regularly with your child and create social time.90038 90131 90140 Parenting tips for schoolers 90141 90002 90287 90287 90003 90002 In your child’s school and preteen years, they become less self-centered, more attuned to others, and (usually) more caring and cooperative. In their formative years, the schooler needs guidance to develop emotional intelligence and self-regulation skills more than ever. 90003 90002 Utilize these typically reasonable years to cement your relationship and let your child develop his or her unique identity.90003 90106 90035 Balance your child’s need for self-sufficiency, interaction with peers, and making time to spend quality moments with him or her. 90038 90035 Plan regular family outings or events to cultivate strong connections. 90038 90035 Gage your kid’s maturity and need for independence — balance rules and accommodations accordingly. 90038 90035 Listen attentively to your kid and encourage sharing problems. 90038 90035 Let them come up with potential solutions and teach them to negotiate and compromise.90038 90035 Recognize and praise their strengths and accomplishments. 90038 90035 Limit the use and reliance of electronic devices to specific times a day. 90038 90035 Know your child’s friends, their relationships, and values. 90038 90035 Do not get involved in power struggles and act firm rather than punishing. 90038 90131 90140 Parenting tips for teenagers 90141 90002 90317 90317 90003 90002 In your child’s early teens, between 13- and 15-years, expect variable behavior and emotions as they try to settle into independence.At this point, he or she has developed a personality but may still be trying to find their stable identity. 90003 90002 The outside world has an increasing influence on your teen as they navigate peer relationships, look up to role models, and widen their exposure through social media and school, sports, and other events. 90003 90002 At this stage, the focus of the parent is on demonstrating respect and positive values, managing your own emotions, balance freedom with responsibility, and communicating regularly.90003 90106 90035 Continue to schedule regular conversations to check in every day. 90038 90035 Allow freedom appropriately but know what your teenager is doing, where, and with whom. 90038 90035 Eat as many meals together as possible, especially dinnertime. 90038 90035 Demonstrate and encourage healthy self-care, including meals, sleep, and relaxation. 90038 90035 Support your teen as much as you can to strive for and achieve their goals. 90038 90035 Act more than a parent than a friend — guide, be firm, and offer support.90038 90035 Keep computers in a family space. 90038 90035 Continue to have regular family meetings and outings. 90038 90131 90018 Conclusion 90021 90002 90347 90347 90003 90002 Remember that engagement with your child — whatever his or her age — is the critical component in their development. As a baby or toddler, this means physical contact and care. When your child grows older, communication about their experiences and emotions become like a light to guide them to confidence. 90003 90002 Listening reflectively, talking about emotions, establishing boundaries and structure, and balancing independence with responsibility are very important too.Notice changes in your child’s behavior. Monitor their activities online and in the real world. 90003 90002 Set appropriate safeguards on social media. When your child is old enough to have a smart phone, install an app like «Find my Kids» so that you know where they are when you’re worried. 90003 90002 It will give you valuable peace of mind so that you can allow them more leeway to explore their independence while also staying safe and protected. 90003 90002 90359 90359 90003 90002 90363 90363 90003 .90000 Authoritative Parenting Made Easy With Examples 90001 90002 Authoritative parenting is the best parenting style. 90003 90002 As a parenting consultant — when I recommend authoritative parenting to the participants of my Parenting Workshops — I summarize it in this way. 90003 90002 90007 90008 Love your child unconditionally. 90009 90010 90003 90002 90007 90008 Be flexible. 90009 90010 90003 90002 90007 90008 Be empathetic. 90009 90010 90003 90002 90007 90008 Communicate.90009 90010 90003 90002 90007 90008 Be open. 90009 90010 90003 90002 90007 90008 Evolve. 90009 90010 90003 90002 It is a mistake to be rigid when you are parenting because every child is different and what works for another child may not work for yours. That is why Authoritative Parenting works so well because it is based on communication and understanding. 90003 90002 An authoritative parent does not REACT. Nor does she / he IGNORE. An authoritative parent makes clear rules based on an understanding of the situation and the child.She / he communicates expectations — and RESPONDS to different situations with empathy. 90003 90002 In this article — let us explore the three parenting styles — authoritative, authoritarian and permissive with the help of examples. 90003 90048 90002 What is the best parenting style 90003 90051 90007 What is Parenting styles? 90010 90054 90002 Parenting styles were first defined by Diane Baumrind who said that parents usually interact with their children in 4 different ways. 90003 90002 90007 Authoritarian Parenting 90010 — This the age-old style of parenting.In this style of Parenting — parents make rules and children are expected to obey whatever the parents say without questioning them. This is the easiest style of parenting because it involves giving in to our most basic instinct of getting what we want through brute force. 90003 90002 90007 Permissive Parenting 90010 — Permissive parenting is a style of parenting that has evolved as an attempt to parent in a way that is the stark opposite of authoritarian parenting. It is usually practiced by parents who were brought up by authoritarian parents, and have decided not to use the brute force used on them by their parents to make them obey rules.Because they are determined to do the opposite of what their authoritarian parents did with them, they make no rules. They think that giving children freedom implies that they allow their children to do exactly what they please without making any rules or correcting them in any way. 90003 90002 90007 Authoritative parenting 90010 — Authoritative parenting is the style of parenting that is embraced by those parents who decide to take the middle path. These are warm loving parents — who make reasonable rules — that they are willing to discuss with and explain to their children.These parents expect the best from their children but are forgiving and supportive when their children make mistakes or fail to meet expectations. 90003 90002 90007 Negligent parenting 90010 — Negligent parenting is the parenting style employed by un-involved parents. These parents are preoccupied with various other aspects of their lives and do not care about what their children do. There are no rules, no expectations and no engagement. Research has proved over and over again that the best parenting style is the authoritative parenting style.90003 90051 90007 5 Authoritative Parenting Tips With Examples 90010 90054 90002 90007 90010 The aim of authoritative parenting is to give children freedom and encourage independence. But alongside that it also involves fostering self-discipline and a respect for others. 5 steps on how you can implement authoritative parenting style 90003 90081 90002 How to be an authoritative parent in 5 steps 90003 90084 90007 Step 1 — 90010 90007 Have very high expectations 90010 90089 90002 90007 90010 All of us want the best for our children.And if we want the best — we must expect the best. Because what you expect is what you get. The most important thing to remember when we expect the best however is — to not be rigid and unforgiving in deciding what that «best» is. Because when we are rigid and unforgiving with our expectations we are sure to be disappointed. 90003 90002 90007 For example — When the child wants to go to play but has homework to finish 90010 90003 90002 90008 90007 A permissive parent 90010 90009 — has no expectations.A permissive parent will be helpless and say «OK go to play if you want. It’s OK go to school with incomplete homework — nothing will happen «90003 90002 90008 90007 An authoritarian parent 90010 90009 — has rigid expectations. Such parent will assume that the child is «bad» and does not want to do the homework. So the parent starts threatening the child with dire consequences. «If you do not do your homework right now I will hit you and you will not out to play the whole week.» 90003 90002 An example of a rigid expectation is — «90008 My child will always get full marks in Maths and science 90009» or «90008 All boys must always be good at sports 90009».And because the expectation is so specific — an authoritarian parent gets extremely upset when what is expected is not delivered by the child. 90003 90002 90008 90007 An authoritative parent 90010 90009 — understands the child’s desire to play — but is also clear that homework must be finished. This parent finds a strategy to overcome the challenge posed by homework because she / he believes that the child is good and wants to do the homework not escape it. An authoritative parent will say «Let’s revise the concept behind the sums given in the homework.Then you will finish quickly and have time to go out to play. » 90003 90002 An authoritative parent has high expectations. Such a parent expects the child to be attentive and well-behaved in school, to complete homework and to study for the tests and to perform well in most subjects. If the child does not do well in some subjects the authoritative parent analyses and discusses the cause for the failure without getting upset. And formulates a strategy for improvement with the child. 90003 90002 High expectations prompt children to rise to those expectations and increase the child’s self-esteem.Rigid expectations on the other handset children up for failure. And repeated failure leads to low self-esteem. Failure is inevitable in life. But when a child fails with his / her self-esteem intact — failure is not read as proof of personal inadequacy — but as an area for growth. Always expect the best — but tailor your expectations to build your child’s self- esteem. A child with positive self-esteem will exceed all your expectations. 90003 90002 You may also like to read — Best pregnancy pillows 90003 90002 90129 90003 90002 Authoritative parenting helps children succeed 90003 90084 90007 Step 2 — Be reasonable about rules and obedience 90010 90089 90002 Family rules are essential.They keep everyone safe, connected and productive. However, it is essential to be reasonable and considerate when making rules. 90003 90002 90007 For example — When a child wants to go for a late night party alone 90010 90003 90002 90008 90007 A permissive parent 90010 90009 — will just say «OK go» because there are no rules in place. A permissive parent never says «No» to anything the child wants to do. As a result — children grow up without respect for rules. They break rules like traffic rules — endangering themselves.They also do not learn how to say «No» when they are in the danger of being bullied or abused because they have never seen their parents saying «No». 90003 90002 90008 90007 An authoritarian parent 90010 90009 — will just say «No. you can not go. That is the rule in our house. » 90003 90002 Such parent has lots of rules for everything and always expects complete unquestioning obedience of those rules. Children who are brought up like this often do not realize that they have the right to speak when they do not like something.They are also unaware of how to put forward their views and opinions in a socially acceptable way. They are either totally submissive or resort to shouting and hitting — to get their point across. Because of these challenges — they often damage themselves — without achieving the change they desire. 90003 90002 90008 90007 An authoritative parent 90010 90009 — The authoritative parent may say — «You can go out but you must pick up my calls when I call, you must keep me informed if you go anywhere else and you must be home by 10 pm.This will make the child feel important and emphasize that negotiating and debating yields the desired results. 90003 90002 An authoritative parent has a set of reasonable family rules that are made considering the child’s age, personality, and abilities. It is expected that these rules will be obeyed and the child is corrected if this rule is broken. An authoritative parent makes rules that will benefit the child and keep her / him safe. But is also willing to argue the point with the child and defend the rule when the child wants something that the rule does not permit.90003 90002 Authoritative parenting teaches children that they have a right to have an opinion. That they have a right to speak up when they are not satisfied. Because they are allowed to express themselves — in the safe environment of their homes — these children learn how to think and negotiate in a socially acceptable way.to resolve unsatisfactory situations. 90003 90002 There can be doubt about the fact that rules and discipline are important and everyone who wants to live in a civilized society must learn how to abide by rules.However, it can be dangerous and damaging to raise a child who can not disagree and is unable to revolt and rebel when required. It is as important to help children learn how to stand up for themselves, for their thoughts ideas and principles as it is to teach them to obey. 90003 90002 90003 90002 90172 90003 90002 How can I make my child listen to meAlso read 6 Reasons why your child does not listen to you 90003 90084 90007 Step 3 — Communicate 90010 90089 90002 A key principle of authoritative parenting is communication.Communication involves both talking and listening 90003 90002 90007 For example — A two-year-old who refuses to eat is expressing dissatisfaction and demanding change in a socially unacceptable way. 90010 90003 90002 90008 90007 An authoritarian parent 90010 90009 — will slap the child or pick him / her up and walk away. Such parent neither listens nor talks. Authoritarian parenting is practiced by closing down all channels of communication. 90003 90002 90008 90007 A permissive parent 90010 90009 — will allow a tantrum and then give in and allow what the child wants.or offer a bribe or a distraction to make the child eat. only listens and never talks. 90003 90002 Permissive parenting hands over control to the child. The parent makes no attempt to emphasize the importance of rules — defend them or enforce them. The rules collapse as soon as the child says that he / she wants something that the rule does not allow. In permissive parenting — rules are practically non-existent 90003 90002 90008 90007 An authoritative 90010 90007 parent 90010 90009 will calmly explain to the child why the meal is important and why the child needs to eat.Negotiation is an important life skill and every authoritative parent must grab every opportunity that presents itself in the form of a disagreement between parent and child — to teach negotiation skills. When we impose our will on our children by demanding compliance or using brute force, it saves us precious minutes on busy days but it also discourages thinking and the development of essential communication skills. 90003 90002 Authoritative parenting leads the way for communication by explaining the reasons for making rules.An authoritative parent always answers the child’s «Why». And asks and listens carefully when the child says «I will not». An authoritative parent is convinced that a rule needs to exist or a line needs to be drawn — and is willing to argue the point out until the child is convinced. Children who are parented by authoritative parents learn how to express themselves in words. And they learn how to use words effectively from their parents. 90003 90210 90002 Learn how to be an authoritative parent 90003 90002 Also read Communicating or talking; what are you doing? 90003 90084 90007 Step 4 — Help children develop thinking skills and responsibility 90010 90089 90002 The purpose of Parenting is to let go.To slowly bring up children who are able to make responsible decisions by thinking carefully about the consequences Letting go however is so terrifying that many a time we find it easier to bind them in our rules and be authoritarian. We hide our fears for them under the easy garb of being rigid and non- communicative 90003 90002 90007 For example — When a child wants to go to cycling alone outside the house compound 90010 90003 90002 90008 90007 An authoritarian parent 90010 90009 will just say «No.You can not go out cycling alone. » Such parent sets inflexible boundaries that the child eventually always breaks. In many cases endangering himself / herself. 90003 90002 90008 90007 A permissive parent 90010 90009 will not even have the systems in place that mandate that the child must ask for permission to go out. The child, in this case, will endanger himself / herself by making risky decisions about where to go and what to do because he / she will have no one to guide her / him. 90003 90002 Such a parent is not able to define boundaries or defines boundaries that collapse as soon as the child protests against them.90003 90002 90008 90007 An authoritative parent 90010 90009 sets the childfree by defining large but firm and inflexible boundaries (depending upon the age of the child) for them. Children will constantly push the boundaries that hold them in — but only to make sure that the boundaries are impossible to break. 90003 90002 Children need to know that the boundaries defined by their parents will keep them safe. That is when they feel free to confidently dream and create. 90003 90002 An authoritative parent will acknowledge and respect the child’s desire to do what his / her friends are doing.With the decades of experience that the parent has she / he will explain the risks of going out to the child and build strategies to ensure that these risks do not endanger the child. 90003 90002 So for example — the parent will explain the traffic signals and how important it is to follow them. The parent will also explain how important it is to carry identification so that in case of an accident — the parents can be informed immediately. The parent will also explain how important it is for the child to keep someone informed about her / his whereabouts all the time.A child with an authoritative parent will be safe and will learn new skills responsibly 90003 90002 90003 90084 90007 Step — 5 Allow your child to make some decisions 90010 90089 90002 Good decision-making is learnt by practice. 90003 90002 90007 For example — When a child is deciding how to spend his / her pocket-money 90010 90003 90002 90007 90008 Authoritarian parents 90009 90010 will tell the child exactly what to do with the money. Such a child will never learn to make good decisions about money.Such a parent will always tell the child what to do and insist on obedience — and mete out punishment when they are not obeyed. 90003 90002 90007 90008 Permissive parents 90009 90010 will allow the child to do whatever he / she likes with the money. And then supply more money if the child has spent all of it without any thought. Such a child will become spoiled and self- centered. 90003 90002 Such parents will allow the child do whatever he / she wants to do without giving their decisions the larger view that they as adults have of the situation.They will not guide their children’s decision by helping them see the pros and cons of a given behavior but jump in to rescue them when they are in trouble. 90003 90002 90008 90007 Authoritative parents 90010 90009 will help the child think and decide how to split up the money so that some gets spent on useful things, some get spent on pleasure and some can be saved. If the child does not agree — the authoritative parent will allow the money to be spent — but not step in with more money when the child falls short of it.90003 90002 Authoritative parenting helps children decide what they want to do by helping them analyze the consequences of the decision. Unless something is dangerous — authoritative parents will allow children to do what they decide and allow them to experience the consequences of the decision. 90003 90002 90003 90002 90288 90003 90002 Authoritative parenting builds positive self-esteem 90003 90051 Authoritative Vs Permissive Vs Authoritarian Parenting 90054 90294 90002 What is your parenting style 90003 90084 90089 90299 90300 90301 90301 90301 90304 90305 90306 90307 90007 Authoritative Parenting 90010 90310 90311 90007 Permissive Parenting 90010 90310 90315 90007 Authoritarian Parenting 90010 90310 90319 90306 90321 Parenting with clear rules 90310 90323 Parenting with no rules 90310 90325 Parenting with rigid rules 90310 90319 90306 90329 The parent remains as a parent who understands children 90310 90331 The child is in charge of the situation 90310 90333 Parent is the boss.Who likes their boss? 90310 90319 90306 90337 The Parent open for communication and negotiation 90310 90339 Submissive parents 90310 90341 Control freak parents have one end communication 90310 90319 90306 90345 Children respect parents 90310 90347 Children lack respect for parents 90310 90349 Children either fear or rebel against parents 90310 90319 90306 90353 Raises a confident individual 90310 90355 An individual who lacks discipline 90310 90357 An individual who lacks in decision making.Either becomes a submissive out of fear or an arrogant out of insecurity 90310 90319 90360 90361 90002 90003 90051 90007 Why is it difficult to implement authoritative parenting? 90010 90054 90368 90369 If you are an Authoritative parent you must respond and not react. It is always easier to react. 90370 90369 To be an authoritative parent you must be completely present in the given situation. You need to put yourself in your child’s shoes. Practicing empathy is never easy. 90370 90369 If you are an authoritative parent — you must assess and analyze every situation.You must engage fully with your child and explain and negotiate your way as you parent. This requires time and patience that is usually in short supply. 90370 90369 Unlike the other parenting styles — Authoritative parenting requires time and effort and must be learned and perfected with practice. That is why it is so difficult to put authoritative parenting into practice. 90370 90377 90002 90003 90002 Also read 5 ways to Communicate for Effective Loving Discipline 90003 90382 90002 Consciously choose your parenting style — a guide 90003 90002 An authoritative parent will not compare and compete and therefore will not require a trophy child who never does anything wrong.Such a parent will be able to allow children the safe space to make mistakes and learn from them. 90003 90002 Are you an authoritative parent? Do share your parenting experience with me in the comments below. Together let us try to parent better. 90003 .90000 5.5. PARENTS AND CHILDREN 90001 90002 90003 5.5. PARENTS AND CHILDREN 90004 90005 90002 90003 90004 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 90003 5.5.1 90004 90005 90002 90003 90003 90021 Preparation 90022 90004 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 Work in pairs. Discuss the following questions. 90005 90002 90005 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90003 90004 90005 90002 90003 90004 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 90003 5.5.2 90004 90005 90002 90003 90003 90021 Listening 90022 90004 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 Listen to the following three interviews and 90005 90002 answer the questions: 90005 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90005 90072 90073 90002 What kind of relationships do the children have with their parents? 90005 90076 90073 90002 Are the parents strict? 90005 90076 90073 90002 According to the mother, what is it like being a parent and what is a good parent? 90005 90076 90085 90002 90005 90002 90003 Interview with 16-year-old daughter Helen 90004 90005 90002 90003 90004 90005 90002 90021 Interviewer 90022: How do you get on with your parents? 90005 90002 90021 Helen 90022: I think I get on with them very well, really.We do not always see eye to eye on some things, like boyfriends — they do not always approve of them — but on the whole they’re very understanding. If I had a personal problem, I think I could confide in them, and if I was ever in trouble I know I could rely on them to help me. 90005 90002 90021 Interviewer 90022: How strict are your parents? 90005 90002 90021 Helen 90022: Well, my Dad’s quite strict about staying out late at night, but I can usually 90021 get round 90022 90021 him 90022.If I’m nice to him, he lets me come home a bit later. My Mum’s always telling me to tidy up my bedroom and put things away after I use them, and I have to do some of the housework. But if I compare them with other parents I know, they are not very strict. 90005 90002 90021 Interviewer 90022: And who are you most like in your family? 90005 90002 90021 Helen 90022: Oh, I think I 90021 take after 90022 my mother. Everybody says we’re both very independent and strong-willed. I like to have my own way a lot of the time, but I’m not spoilt.I do not always get my own way. And my parents always 90021 tell me off 90022 if I do anything wrong. 90005 90002 90005 90002 90003 Interview with 17-year-old son David 90004 90005 90002 90005 90002 90021 Interviewer 90022: How do you get on with your parents? 90005 90002 90021 David 90022: I 90021 look up to them 90022 because I know they’ve worked hard to 90021 bring us up 90022 properly. 90005 90002 90021 Interviewer 90022: How strict are your parents? 90005 90002 90021 David: 90022 They can be very strict at times.I told my Dad I wanted a motorbike, but he said it was out of the question — it was too dangerous. My mother is strict about keeping things tidy. I can not 90021 get out of 90022 doing the washing up and things like that, unless I’m very busy. 90005 90002 90021 Interviewer 90022: How do you get on with your sister? 90005 90002 90021 David 90022: I never agree with what she says, so we are always arguing. We’ve never been very close, but I get on all right with her. I think I’m much closer to my mother.90005 90002 90005 90002 90003 Interview with mother 90004 90005 90002 90005 90002 90021 Interviewer: 90022 What’s it like being a parent? 90005 90002 90021 Mother 90022: Bringing up children is very difficult. You always worry about them. You have to be very patient and put up with a lot — like noise and even criticism. And you can not always 90021 get through to 90022 them — sometimes they just will not listen. But the advantages of being a parent outweigh the disadvantages. The main thing is to enjoy your children while they are young because they 90021 grow up 90022 so quickly nowadays.90005 90002 90021 Interviewer: 90022 How strict are you with your children? 90005 90002 90021 Mother 90022: I suppose I’m reasonably strict. They can not do what they like and 90021 get away with 90022 it, and I tell them off when they do something wrong. 90005 90002 90021 Interviewer 90022: And was is the secret of being a good parent? 90005 90002 90021 Mother 90022: I think you have to give them confidence and let them know you love them. And you have to set a good example through your own behaviour, otherwise they will not look up to you.90005 90002 90021 Interviewer 90022: And what do you want for your children in the future? 90005 90002 90021 Mother 90022: I want them to be happy, and I want them to 90021 look back on 90022 their childhood as a very happy time in their lives. 90005 90002 90003 90004 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 90003 5.5.3 90004 90005 90002 90003 90003 90021 Definition 90022 90004 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 90003 A 90004 90005 90002 90003 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 Match the verbs with their definitions.90005 90002 90005 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90003 90004 90005 90258 90011 90012 90013 90002 1. to get round someone 90005 90026 90013 90002 a. to respect and admire someone, to have a very good opinion of someone 90005 90026 90033 90012 90013 90002 2. to take after someone 90005 90026 90013 90002 b. to escape being punished for something 90005 90026 90033 90012 90013 90002 3.to tell someone off 90005 90002 (for doing something) 90005 90026 90013 90002 c. to think about something that happened in the past 90005 90026 90033 90012 90013 90002 4. to look up to someone 90005 90026 90013 90002 d. to reprimand, to speak severely to someone because they have done something wrong 90005 90026 90033 90012 90013 90002 5. to bring someone up 90005 90026 90013 90002 e.to persuade someone to let you do or have something, usually by flattering them 90005 90026 90033 90012 90013 90002 6. to get out of doing something 90005 90026 90013 90002 f. to raise a child, to look after a child until it is adult and try to give it particular beliefs and attitudes 90005 90026 90033 90012 90013 90002 7. to get through to someone 90005 90026 90013 90002 g. to resemble a member of your family in appearance or character 90005 90026 90033 90012 90013 90002 8.to grow up 90005 90026 90013 90002 h. to avoid having to do something 90005 90026 90033 90012 90013 90002 9. to get away with something 90005 90026 90013 90002 i. to succeed in making someone understand the meaning of what one is saying 90005 90026 90033 90012 90013 90002 10. to look back (on something) 90005 90026 90013 90002 j. to become more adult and mature 90005 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 90003 90021 Drills 90022 90004 90005 90026 90013 90003 B 90004 90026 90013 Listen and respond to the prompts.90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 90003 5.5.4 90004 90005 90002 90003 90003 90021 Practice 90022 90004 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 90003 A 90004 90005 90002 90003 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 Fill in the gaps below. 90005 90002 90005 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90005 90002 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 a.to (dis) approve _____ someone / something 90005 90002 b. to confide ____ someone 90005 90002 c. to rely _____ someone 90005 90002 d. to compare someone / something _____ someone / something 90005 90002 e. to (dis) agree _____ someone / something 90005 90002 f. to argue _____ someone _____ something 90005 90002 g. to worry _____ someone / something 90005 90002 h. to want something ____ someone 90005 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 90003 90021 Idiom 90022 90004 90005 90002 90003 90021 90022 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 90003 B 90004 90005 90002 90003 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 What expressions from the box could you use in the 90005 90002 sentences below? 90005 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90005 90002 90005 90002 90005 90002 a.The problem is that her parents never stop her doing anything that she wants to do. She’s become a very spoilt child as a result. 90005 90002 b. My family is very ashamed of my brother and we never talk about him. He was expelled from school and has been in prison twice. 90005 90002 c. Whenever I had an argument with my mother or father, I could always rely on my grandparents to support me. 90005 90002 d. My father and I usually agree about most things, but when it comes to politics we have completely different views.90005 90002 e. I can talk to my sister about my problems because I know she will understand me and share my feelings. 90005 90002 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 90003 90021 Interaction 90022 90004 90005 90002 90003 90021 90022 90004 90005 90002 90003 90021 90022 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 90003 C 90004 90005 90002 90003 90004 90005 90002 90003 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 Work with your partner.Take turns asking and 90005 90002 answering the questions. Use as much active 90005 90002 vocabulary as possible. 90005 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90005 90002 For example: 90005 90002 — 90021 How do you get on with the other people in your family? 90022 90005 90002 90021 — I do not get on with my sisters very well, but I’m very close to my 90022 90021 mother. I feel I can confide in her. 90022 90005 90002 90005 90002 a. What kind of relationship do you have with the people in your family? 90005 90002 b.Are you similar to anyone in your family? 90005 90002 c. Do you have the same opinions as other members of your family? 90005 90002 d. Where did you spend your childhood? 90005 90002 e. Who took care of you when you were very young? 90005 90002 f. Did you have a strict upbringing? 90005 90002 g. When were you reprimanded as a child / teenager? 90005 90002 h. Were you able to do what you wanted all the time? 90005 90002 i. Who did you admire and respect when you were a child / teenager? 90005 90002 j.When you think about the past, what do you remember? 90005 90002 90003 90004 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 90003 5.5.5 90004 90005 90002 90003 90021 Activate 90022 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 90003 A 90004 90005 90002 90003 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 Match the sentences in the right and left columns. 90005 90002 90005 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90003 90004 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 1.Do you respect your parents? 90005 90002 2. Do you like David? 90005 90002 3. Did he do the washing up? 90005 90002 4. Does he listen to you? 90005 90002 5. Was he punished for the crime? 90005 90002 6. Have you done the homework? 90005 90002 7. Has he complained about the noise? 90005 90026 90013 90002 a. No, he got away with it. 90005 90002 b. No, I can not get through to him. 90005 90002 c. No, he puts up with it. 90005 90002 d.No, he got out of it. 90005 90002 e. No, I must get down to it. 90005 90002 f. No, I do not get on with him. 90005 90002 g. Yes, I look up to them. 90005 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90005 90002 90003 B 90004 Answer the questions: 90005 90002 90005 90680 90073 90002 What is the difference between 90021 to grow up 90022 and 90021 to bring someone up 90022? 90005 90076 90073 90002 What is the opposite of 90021 to look up to someone 90022? 90005 90076 90073 90002 What is the noun of (a) and adjective of (b)? 90005 90076 90699 90002 a.90021 to bring up 90022 (+ noun) She had a very strict ______. 90005 90002 b. 90021 to grow up 90022 (+ adjective) He does not behave in a very _____ way. 90005 90002 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 90003 5.5.6 90004 90005 90002 90003 90003 90021 Discussion 90022 90004 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 Read the text and answer the questions below using 90005 90002 the words in bold. 90005 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90003 90738 How much freedom should children have? 90004 90005 90002 90003 90004 90005 90002 It is often said that we live in a 90003 permissive age 90004, one in which people are allowed to do almost anything they like.Is it good for children? They are going through their 90003 adolescence 90004, which is a very 90003 formative stage 90004 of their development since their final adult characters are beginning 90003 to take shape 90004. Some parents think it is good for children to be allowed to run wild 90003 without control or supervision 90004. They say that this enables children’s personalities to develop naturally and that they will learn to be responsible by the mistakes they make. However this might lead to 90003 delinquency 90004 with the children 90003 ending up in courts 90004 or it might simply make children self-centred, without any 90003 consideration for others 90004.Other parents believe in being strict, but 90003 taken to extremes 90004 this can produce a too 90003 authoritarian atmosphere 90004 in the home, with the children being 90003 dominated and ruled 90004 by their parents. Parents can also be very 90003 possessive 90004 and try to keep their children dependent on them. These last two attitudes can encourage 90003 rebelliousness 90004 (against parents, school, authority) in a child or, 90003 conversely 90004, suppress a child’s 90003 natural sense of adventure and curiosity 90004.A strict upbringing by 90003 over-caring 90004 parents can make a child so timid and 90003 inhibited 90004 that he or she is unable to express freely his or her emotions and 90003 form mature relationships 90004. To bring up children to be normal, 90003 well-adjusted 90004 human beings requires great wisdom, and perhaps a bit of luck. 90005 90002 90005 90680 90073 90002 What is the best technique of children’s upbringing? 90005 90076 90073 90002 What are the most typical mistakes parents make? 90005 90076 90073 90002 In what way were you brought up? 90005 90076 90073 90002 At what age should children be free to go out with their friends in the evenings? 90005 90076 90073 90002 How much freedom should children have? 90005 90076 90073 90002 In what way can it affect upbringing in the family if the parents are of different religions or nationalities? 90005 90076 90073 90002 How much should children respect their parents ‘religious and cultural beliefs? 90005 90076 90699 90002 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 90003 5.5.7 90004 90005 90002 90003 90003 90021 Listening 90022 90004 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 90003 A 90004 90005 90002 90005 90026 90013 90002 Read the text through while listening. Study the 90005 90002 counter-arguments below. 90005 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90003 90738 ‘The younger generation knows best’ 90004 90005 90002 90005 90002 Old people are always saying that the young are not what they were.The same comment is made from generation to generation and it is always true. It has never been truer than it is today. The young are better educated. They have a lot more money to spend and enjoy more freedom. They grow up more quickly and are not so dependent on their parents. They think more for themselves and do not blindly accept the ideals of their elders. Events which the older generation remembers vividly are nothing more than past history. This is as it should be. Every new generation is different from the one that 90003 preceded 90004 it.Today the difference is very marked indeed. 90005 90002 The old always 90003 assume 90004 that they know best for the simple reason that they have been around a bit longer. They do not like to feel that their values ​​are being questioned or threatened. And this is precisely what the young are doing. They are questioning the 90003 assumptions 90004 of their elders and 90003 disturbing their complacency 90004. They 90003 take leave to doubt 90004 that the older generation has created the best of all possible worlds.What they reject more than anything is 90003 conformity 90004. Office hours, for instance, are nothing more than 90003 enforced slavery 90004. Would not people work best if they were given complete freedom and responsibility? And what about clothing? Who said that all the men in the world should wear 90003 drab 90004 grey suits and 90003 convict haircuts 90004? If we 90003 turn our minds to 90004 more serious matters, who said that human differences can best be solved through 90003 conventional politics 90004 or by violent means? Why have the older generation so often used violence to solve their problems? Why are they so unhappy and 90003 guilt-ridden 90004 in their personal lives, so obsessed with mean ambitions and the desire to 90003 amass 90004 more and more material possessions? Can 90021 anything 90022 be right with 90003 the rat-race 90004? Have not the old 90003 lost touch with 90004 all that is important in life? 90005 90002 These are not questions the older generation can 90003 shrug off 90004 lightly.Their record over the past forty years or so has not been exactly 90003 spotless 90004. Traditionally, the young have 90003 turned to their elders for guidance 90004. Today, the situation might be reversed. The old — if they are prepared to admit it — could learn a thing or two from their children. One of the biggest lessons they could learn is that enjoyment is not ‘90003 sinful 90004’. Enjoyment is a principle one could apply to all aspects of life. It is surely not wrong to enjoy your work and enjoy your leisure; to 90003 shed restricting 90004 90003 inhibitions 90004.It is surely not wrong to live in the present rather than in the past or future. This 90003 emphasis on 90004 the present is only to be expected because the young have grown up under the shadow of the bomb: the constant threat of complete 90003 annihilation 90004. This is their glorious 90003 heritage 90004. Can we be surprised that they should so often question the 90003 sanity 90004 of the generation that 90003 bequeathed 90004 it? 90005 90002 90005 90002 90003 90021 The counter-argument: key notes 90022 90004 90005 90002 90005 90072 90073 90002 The young do not seek responsibility: they 90003 evade 90004 it.90005 90076 90073 90002 Too much money spoils them. 90005 90076 90073 90002 They are not interested in important questions; avoid involvement: e.g. major political issues, etc. 90005 90076 90073 90002 They are interested only in themselves: 90021 they 90022 want 90003 material possessions 90004 (clothing, cars, etc.) without working for them. 90005 90076 90073 90002 The young should be 90003 grateful to 90004 older generation.90005 90076 90073 90002 Older generation bequeathed peace and freedom which the young enjoy. 90005 90076 90073 90002 The older generation provided the young with good education, money to spend. 90005 90076 90073 90002 The older generation fought in two world wars; it faced real problems. The young have had everything easily. 90005 90076 90073 90002 The young 90003 cling to passing fashions 90004: clothes, pop music, etc.90005 90076 90073 90002 90003 Mass hysteria 90004 is a modern phenomenon. 90005 90076 90073 90002 Too much freedom resulted in 90003 immorality 90004; the young are 90003 shameless 90004. 90005 90076 90073 90002 Appearance of many young people is disgusting: strange haircuts; dirty, scruffy, lazy. 90005 90076 90073 90002 The older generation are too soft and kind with the young; a tougher policy might 90003 work wonders 90004.90005 90076 90073 90002 The young are 90003 unadventurous 90004; lack noble ideas; are 90003 too clever by half 90004. 90005 90076 90073 90002 Their 90003 outlook for the world 90004 is very 90003 bleak 90004. 90005 90076 90085 90002 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 90003 90021 Vocabulary 90022 90004 90005 90026 90013 90003 B 90004 90026 90013 What is the difference between: 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90003 90021 90022 90004 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 1.90021 precedence 90022 and 90021 precedent 90022 90005 90002 2. 90021 convention 90022 and 90021 convenience 90022 90005 90002 3. 90021 inhibit 90022 and 90021 inhabit 90022 90005 90026 90013 90002 4. 90021 emphasize 90022 and 90021 empathize 90022 90005 90002 5. 90021 90021 outlook on 90022 90022 and 90021 90021 outlook for 90022 90022 90005 90002 90021 90021 6. 90021 evade 90022 90022 90022 and 90021 90021 90021 avoid 90022? 90022 90022 90005 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 90003 90021 Word Form 90022 90004 90005 90026 90013 90003 C 90004 90026 90013 Fill in the blanks in the table: 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90005 91128 90011 90012 91131 90002 Verb 90005 90026 91131 90002 Adjective 90005 90026 91131 90002 Noun 90005 90026 90033 90012 91131 90002 precede 90005 90026 91131 90002 90005 90026 91131 90002 90005 90026 90033 90012 91131 90002 90005 90026 91131 90002 90005 90026 91131 90002 assumption 90005 90026 90033 90012 91131 90002 90005 90026 91131 90002 complacent 90005 90026 91131 90002 90005 90026 90033 90012 91131 90002 conform 90005 90026 91131 90002 90005 90026 91131 90002 90005 90026 90033 90012 91131 90002 enforce 90005 90026 91131 90002 90005 90026 91131 90002 90005 90026 90033 90012 91131 90002 90005 90026 91131 90002 90005 90026 91131 90002 convict 90005 90026 90033 90012 91131 90002 90005 90026 91131 90002 conventional 90005 90026 91131 90002 90005 90026 90033 90012 91131 90002 90005 90026 91131 90002 90005 90026 91131 90002 guidance 90005 90026 90033 90012 91131 90002 bequeath 90005 90026 91131 90002 90005 90026 91131 90002 90005 90026 90033 90012 91131 90002 90005 90026 91131 90002 90005 90026 91131 90002 heritage 90005 90026 90033 90012 91131 90002 90005 90026 91131 90002 possessive 90005 90026 91131 90002 90005 90026 90033 90012 91131 90002 restrict 90005 90026 91131 90002 90005 90026 91131 90002 90005 90026 90033 90012 91131 90002 90005 90026 91131 90002 90005 90026 91131 90002 emphasis 90005 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90003 90021 90022 90004 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 90003 90021 Prepositions 90022 90004 90005 90026 90013 90003 D 90004 90026 90013 Insert the missing prepositions: 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90005 90680 90073 90002 Is there any precedent … this? 90005 90076 90073 90002 I’m working … the assumption that the money will come through.90005 90076 90073 90002 We simply can not afford to be complacent … the future of our children. 90005 90076 90073 90002 We must act … conformity … the rules and norms that exist in the society. 90005 90076 90073 90002 The class arrived … dribs and drabs. 90005 90076 90073 90002 We need a more experienced person to guide us … the procedure. 90005 90076 90073 90002 I applied … four universities and was accepted by all of them.90005 90076 90073 90002 He applied … the post of Headmaster’s secretary. 90005 90076 90073 90002 We’re hoping his letter will shed some light … his plans. 90005 90076 90073 90002 I restricted myself … two cigarettes a day. 90005 90076 90073 90002 Being too critical may inhibit a child … asking you things he needs to know. 90005 90076 90073 90002 Well, you should be grateful … small mercies — at least you’ve got a home and a job.90005 90076 90073 90002 The course puts an emphasis … practical work. 90005 90076 90699 90002 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 90003 90021 Collocation 90022 90004 90005 90002 90003 90021 90022 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 90003 E 90004 90005 90002 90003 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 Supply collocations to the following words and 90005 90002 make up sentences with them.90005 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90003 90021 90022 90004 90005 90002 90003 90021 90022 90004 90005 90002 90003 90021 90022 90004 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 90003 90021 Interaction 90022 90004 90005 90002 90003 90021 90022 90004 90005 90002 90003 90021 90022 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 90003 F 90004 90005 90002 90003 90004 90005 90002 90003 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 Working in pairs or in small groups make up a 90005 90002 conversation presenting different views on the 90005 90002 problem.90005 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90003 90021 90022 90004 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 90003 5.5.8 90004 90005 90002 90003 90003 90021 Quiz 90022 90004 90004 90005 90002 90003 90003 90021 90022 90004 90004 90005 90002 90003 90003 90021 90022 90004 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 90003 Are you a suitable person to have children? 90004 90005 90002 What sort of parent are you or would you be — strict, 90005 90002 soft-hearted, or somewhere between the two? 90005 90002 Answer the questions and check your score.90005 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90003 90021 90022 90004 90005 90002 1. You have just been for a healthy five-mile run. Your pulse is somewhere over 200 and you wonder whether you are going to live. As you step out of the shower, your child walks into the bathroom, waves a paper in your face, and starts telling you all about the wonderful story he / she has just written about a rabbit with pink ears. As you stand there, dripping wet and searching for your glasses, what do you say? Something more like a, b, or c? 90005 90002 a.Lovely, dear. What’s the rabbit’s name? 90005 90002 b. Super, darling. But could you just wait until I’ve dried myself and got dressed? 90005 90002 c. If you and your bloody rabbit do not get out of the bathroom now you’re both going down the toilet. 90005 90002 2. You have told your child, about seventeen times, to calm down and stop jumping on the living room furniture. Your child climbs up on to the window ledge and breaks a window. You tell the child that he / she will have to put two weeks ‘pocket money towards the cost of the repair, and you say that he / she can not go into the living room again for three days.Is this punishment: 90005 90002 a. too strict? 90005 90002 b. not strict enough? 90005 90002 c. just right? 90005 90002 3. Your child is generally pretty well-behaved, but when his / her best friend Pat comes to play he / she turns into a wild beast. One day, they steal some lipstick and draw pictures all over the kitchen walls. Do you: 90005 90002 a. say that Pat can never come again? 90005 90002 b. try to explain to both of them why this is a bad thing to do? 90005 90002 c. make them clean off the lipstick as well as they can? 90005 90002 4.What do you think about physical punishment? 90005 90002 a. It’s all right to smack a child occasionally for something very serious. 90005 90002 b. Children need to be smacked when they’re naughty — it’s much better than telling them off. 90005 90002 c. It’s always wrong to smack a child. 90005 90002 5. Your child refuses to eat anything except crisps and ice cream. Do you: 90005 90002 a. let him / her live on crisps and ice cream? 90005 90002 b. make the child eat up everything that is on his / her plate at mealtimes? 90005 90002 c.let the child have crisps and ice cream if he / she eats a certain amount of other food? 90005 90002 6. Your child is playing in the middle of the kitchen floor. When you say that you need to clean the floor, the child kicks and screams and refuses to move. Do you: 90005 90002 a. forcibly move the child and his / her toys? 90005 90002 b. explain to the child why it is important that you clean the floor now? 90005 90002 c. put off cleaning the floor till later? 90005 90002 7. At weekends, your child watches an average of eight hours ‘TV a day.He / she is developing square eyes. Do you: 90005 90002 a. have a discussion with the child, explaining why he / she should watch less TV? 90005 90002 b. ration the child to three hours a day? 90005 90002 c. let the child watch what he / she wants? 90005 90002 8. Your child’s room looks like a rubbish dump that has been hit by a bomb. Do you: 90005 90002 a. leave the child to tidy up the room when he / she feels like it? 90005 90002 b. ask the child to tidy up the room? 90005 90002 c. tell the child to tidy up the room? 90005 90002 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 Score: 90005 90002 90005 90026 90013 90002 1.a-3 b-2 c-1 90005 90002 2. a-3 b-2 c-1 90005 90026 90013 90002 3. a-1 b-2 c-3 90005 90002 4. a-2 b-1 c-3 90005 90026 90013 90002 5. a-3 b-1 c-2 90005 90002 6. a-1 b-2 c-3 90005 90026 90013 90002 7. a-2 b-1 c-3 90005 90002 8. a-3 b-2 c-1 90005 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90005 90002 TOTAL 8-13: You are (or would be) a pretty strict parent. Do not forget that children need patience, understanding and love as well as firmness.90005 90002 TOTAL 14-19: You (would) try to be neither too strict nor too easy-going. This can be very good if children know what to expect; but it is no good being strict about something one day and soft about it the next. 90005 90002 TOTAL 20-24: You tend towards soft-heartedness. Be careful: children need some limits, so they can define themselves as people and set their own limits later on. The children will know that you love them if you set the limits in a firm but loving way. 90005 90002 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 90003 5.5.9 90004 90005 90002 90003 90021 Translation 90022 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 Translate the extract from a fiction book. What stories 90005 90002 can the 90021 90022 photos from your family album tell? 90005 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90003 90004 90005 90002 She recognized Spencer in spite of how very young he was in the snapshots. Although the man was visible in the boy, he had lost more than youth since the days when those pictures had been taken.More than innocence. More than the effervescent spirit that seemed evident in the smile and body language of the child. Life also had stolen an ineffable quality from him, and the loss was no less apparent for being inexpressible. 90005 90002 Ellie studied the woman’s face in the two pictures that showed her with Spencer, and was convinced that they were mother and son. If appearances did not deceive — and in this instance she sensed that they did not — Spencer’s mother had been gentle, kind, soft-spoken, with a girlish sense of fun.90005 90002 In a third photo, the mother was younger than in the photo with Spencer, perhaps 20, standing alone in front of a tree laden with white flowers. She appeared to be radiantly innocent, not naïve but unspoiled and without cynicism. May be Ellie was reading too much into a photo, but she perceived in Spencer’s mother a vulnerability so poignant that suddenly tears welled in her eyes. 90005 90002 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 90003 5.5.10 90004 90005 90002 90003 90003 90021 Discussion 90022 90004 90004 90005 90002 90003 90003 90021 90022 90004 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 90003 A 90004 90005 90002 90003 90004 90005 90002 90003 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 Look at the jocular quotations about family life.Do 90005 90002 you agree with them? Can you describe modern 90005 90002 attitudes towards family and family relationships? 90005 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90005 90002 a. ‘Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.’ 90005 90002 b. ‘Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.’ 90005 90002 c. ‘Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. ‘90005 90002 d.’Marriage is the waste-paper basket of the emotions.’ 90005 90002 90005 90002 90003 B 90004 What is your opinion on the following: 90005 90002 90005 90002 1. How do you understand the phrase ‘The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world’? 90005 90002 2. What are the position and role of woman in the family? 90005 90002 3. Would you like to have the family of your own similar to your parents ‘family or you feel it should be different? What would you like to change? 90005 90002 4.How many children would you like to have in your family, if any? Explain your answer. 90005 90002 5. What are the advantages and disadvantages of being an only child? 90005 90002 6. Should boys and girls be brought up in exactly the same way? Why / Why not? 90005 90002 90005 90010 90011 90012 90013 90002 90003 5.5.11 90004 90005 90002 90003 90003 90021 Writing 90022 90004 90004 90005 90026 90013 90002 Write a short essay about how you see the roles and 90005 90002 functions of all the members of the family.90005 90026 90033 90034 90035 90002 90003 90004 90005 .90000 What parents can do about childhood bullying 90001 90002 If you’re a parent concerned about bullying, it’s important to recognize the signs that a child is a bully, as well as the signs of one who is being victimized. This is especially true if your child has a learning disability (LD) or Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), conditions which make kids more vulnerable to bullying. 90003 Being alert and observant is critical, since victims are often reluctant to report bullying.90004 Many victims do not report it to their parents or teachers because they’re embarrassed or humiliated by the bullying. They may assume that adults will accuse them of tattling or will tell them to deal with it themselves. Some victims believe there is nothing adults can do to get the bully to stop. Naturally, bullies do not discuss their misdeeds with their parents or teachers. If their bullying behavior is reported and their parents confront them, bullies usually deny their involvement. 90005 90006 The victim: signs and symptoms 90007 90002 A child who is a victim of bullying may display one or more of the following behaviors at home *: 90005 90010 90011 Comes home from school with clothing that’s torn or in disarray, or with damaged books .90012 90011 Has bruises, cuts, and scratches, but can not give a logical explanation for how he got them. 90012 90011 Appears afraid or reluctant to go to school in the morning, complaining repeatedly of headaches or stomach pains. 90012 90011 Chooses an «illogical» route for going to and from school. 90012 90011 Has bad dreams or cries in his sleep. 90012 90011 Loses interest in school work, and his grades suffer. If your child normally struggles in school because of a learning disability and is teased about having LD, school may become unbearable for him.90012 90011 Appears sad or depressed, or shows unexpected mood shifts, irritability, and sudden outbursts of temper. 90012 90011 Requests money from you to meet the bully’s demands and might even resort to stealing money from you or other family members. 90012 90011 Seems socially isolated, with few — if any — real friends; is rarely invited to parties or to the homes of other kids. His fear of rejection may lead him to shun others. 90012 90029 90006 The bully: signs and symptoms 90007 90002 A youngster who is bullying other kids may display one or more of the following behaviors at home *: 90005 90010 90011 Has a strong need to dominate and subdue others; asserts himself with power and threats to get his own way.90012 90011 Intimidates his siblings or kids in the neighborhood. 90012 90011 Brags about his actual or imagined superiority over other kids. 90012 90011 Is hot-tempered, easily angered, impulsive, and has low frustration tolerance. Has difficulty conforming to rules and tolerating adversities and delays. If he has the impulsive / hyperactive type of ADHD, that could explain some of these behaviors; if so, it’s important to work with his doctor and teachers to address and manage such behaviors.90012 90011 Cheating 90012 90011 Oppositional, defiant, and aggressive behavior toward adults, including teachers and parents. 90012 90011 Antisocial or criminal behavior (such as stealing or vandalism), often at a relatively early age. He may hang out with the «wrong crowd.» 90012 90029 90002 * Adapted from 90051 Bullying at School 90052 90005 90006 What can parents of the victim do? 90007 90002 If you know or suspect your child is being bullied, but his school has not communicated with you about the situation, you should contact your child’s teacher (s) right away.Keep in mind that your primary goal should be to get the school’s cooperation to get the bullying to stop. 90003 Knowing your own child is being victimized can evoke strong feelings, but you’ll get much more cooperation from school personnel if you can stick to the facts without becoming overly emotional. 90004 While you may want assurance that everyone involved is punished severely, try to focus on putting an end to the bullying! 90005 90002 If your child is a victim of bullying, try helping him with the following strategies: 90005 90062 Your attitude and actions 90063 90010 90011 Listen carefully to your child’s reports of being bullied.Be sympathetic and take the problem seriously. Be careful not to overreact or under-react. 90012 90011 Do not blame the victim. When a child finally works up the courage to report bullying, it is not appropriate to criticize him for causing it or not handling the situation correctly. For example, do not ask, «Well, what did you do to bring it on?» 90012 90011 Realize that for a child who is being bullied, home is his refuge. Expect him to have some difficult times in dealing with victimization.Get professional help if you think your child needs it. 90012 90011 Encourage your child to keep talking to you. Spend extra time with him. Provide constant support and encouragement, and tell him that you love him often! 90012 90029 90062 Teaching your child safety strategies 90063 90010 90011 Remember that hitting back is not a choice at school and should not be encouraged. In a school with a «zero tolerance policy» for physical aggression, encouraging your child to hit back may just get him expelled.90012 90011 Encourage your child to walk away and tell an adult if he feels someone is about to hurt him. 90012 90011 Talk about safe ways to act in situations that might be dangerous. For example, identify a «safe house» or store or where he can find sanctuary if pursued by bullies. Encourage him to walk with an adult or older child. Give him a telephone number of an available adult to call if he’s afraid and needs help dealing with a bullying situation. 90012 90011 Teach your child how to report bullying incidents to adults in an effective way.Adults are less likely to discount a child’s report as «tattling» if the report includes: 90012 90029 90086 90011 What is being done to him that makes him fearful or uncomfortable 90012 90011 Who is doing it 90012 90011 What he has done to try to resolve the problem or to get the bully to quit 90012 90011 A clear explanation of what he needs from the adult (or what he wants the adult to do) to get the bully to quit. 90012 90095 90010 90011 Brainstorm and practice strategies with your child to avoid further victimization.90012 90029 90062 Nurturing your child’s self-esteem 90063 90010 90011 Educate your child about bullying and bullies. Help him put the problem in perspective and not take it personally. 90012 90011 Teach your child how to walk in a confident manner. 90012 90011 If needed, help him pay particular attention to personal grooming and social skills. 90012 90011 Identify and encourage your child’s talents and positive attributes; doing so may help him better assert himself among his peers.90012 90011 Encourage your child to make new friends. A new environment can provide a «new chance» for a victimized student, as he will not be subjected to the negative stereotype other classmates have of him. 90003 Encourage him to make contact with calm and friendly students in his school. 90004 Such action may require some assistance on your part, or perhaps a school mental health professional, to develop the child’s skills at initiating contact and maintaining a friendship relationship. This is especially true if your child’s learning problems make his social interactions difficult.Be sure to provide ongoing support and encouragement, because your child, due to earlier failures, will tend to give up in the face of even slight adversities. 90012 90011 Encourage your child to participate in physical training or sports, even if he’s reluctant. Physical exercise can result in better physical coordination and less body anxiety, which, in turn, is likely to increase self-confidence and improve peer relationships. 90012 90029 90006 When should the victim’s parents contact school authorities? 90007 90002 If the bullying occurs at school, then the main responsibility for achieving this goal lies with the school officials.It’s important, however, that the parents of the victim collaborate with the school to implement an agreed-upon plan for solving the problem. 90005 90002 If your child has been the victim of bullying at school, here are some suggestions for reporting the problem to school authorities: 90005 90010 90011 After talking to your child, but before contacting school personnel, write down the details of the bullying situations reported to you by your child. Note the dates and the names of the kids involved.Try to view the situation objectively and determine the how serious it is. 90012 90011 Your child may resist your involvement if he fears retaliation by the bully. If so, explain to your child that most bullying situations require adult intervention to resolve the problem. Let him know exactly who you plan to talk to. 90012 90011 Contact school personnel for assistance in ending the bullying. First share the problem with your child’s teacher (s), and work together to decide how to approach the problem.If the teacher is not able to get the bullying under control, go to the principal and make a formal request in writing that he get the bullying to stop. 90012 90011 Do not contact the bully or the bully’s family directly. 90012 90011 Keep an ongoing log of the dates of any further bullying incidents and the actions you take to help your child deal with the bullying. Inform the school of ongoing bullying incidents. 90012 90029 90006 What can the parents of the bully do? 90007 90002 Parents of bullies should understand that children who aggressively bully peers are at increased risk for engaging in antisocial or criminal behavior in the future.It is therefore important to try to help bullies change their negative attitudes and behavior toward others. 90005 90062 Your attitude and actions 90063 90010 90011 Take the problem seriously. Resist a tendency to deny the problem or to discount the seriousness of it. Avoid denial thinking such as «Boys will be boys,» or «Bullying is just a natural part of growing up.» 90012 90011 Listen carefully and check out the facts. Do not believe everything your child tells you. Children who bully are good at manipulating adults and can be very artful at weaving a story that makes them look innocent.90012 90011 The school or the victim’s parents may be documenting reports of your child’s bullying behaviors. It does not serve your child well to deny his involvement if there is evidence to the contrary. Check out the dates and the activities and determine if there is a pattern in his bullying behavior. 90012 90011 Explore the reasons for your child’s negative behavior. Get professional help if necessary for your child and / or your family. 90012 90029 90062 Holding the bully accountable 90063 90010 90011 Resist the tendency to blame yourself.Hold your child responsible for his own choices. 90012 90011 Make it clear to your child that you take bullying seriously, and that you will not tolerate such behavior in the future. Make it clear that you expect all bullying activities to stop immediately. 90012 90011 The issue of bullying should be monitored for some time through questioning your child and regularly contacting the school to determine if his bullying behavior has stopped. 90012 90029 90062 Helping a bully change behavior 90063 90010 90011 Develop a clear and simple system of family rules.Offer frequent praise and reinforcement. Use non-hostile, negative consequences for violations of rule-following behavior. Consistently enforce the rules. Appropriate consequences for bullying might include the loss of privileges (e.g., television or computer game time). 90012 90011 Follow through with appropriate consequences for your child’s misbehavior. Do not use physical punishment, as doing so will only reinforce your child’s mistaken belief that it’s acceptable to bully those who are weaker to get what one wants.90003 If both you and the school are consistent in applying negative consequences for bullying, the chances he will change his behavior are considerably increased. 90004 90012 90011 Spend more time with your child and monitor his activities closely. Find out who his friends are, where they spend their leisure time, and what activities they usually engage in. Is your child in «bad company»? If so, limit his exposure to the negative peer group and provide opportunities to become involved with more pro-social peers.90012 90011 Build on your child’s talents and strengths, and help him develop less aggressive and more empathetic reaction patterns. 90012 90011 Reward your child for positive, caring actions and for peaceful problem solving. 90012 90029 90006 What can — and should — parents expect the school to do? 90007 90002 Whether your child is a bully, victim, or bystander, you should expect the following from his school: 90005 90010 90011 School administrators, teachers, and staff should take bullying problems seriously.The school should investigate the situation and let you know what steps they’re taking to help stop the bullying. 90012 90011 Written school policies and rules against bullying, harassment, and intimidation should be in place — and be enforced. 90012 90011 Teachers and administrators should speak to the bully and his parents. They should also tell him what the consequences will be if he does not stop bullying others. If the bullying continues, the school should enforce the pre-determined consequences immediately.90012 90011 Teachers and administrators should increase adult supervision in the areas of the school campus where bullying incidents are most likely to occur. 90012 90011 School personnel should be well-informed about the children who are being victimized by bullies so they can monitor and provide support to the victims as needed. They should also communicate often with the victims ‘parents to tell them how the situation is being handled at school. 90012 90029 90002 Finally, be aware that bullying prevention programs in schools are often a very effective way to stop bullying.90005 90006 Building a bully-free future 90007 90002 Even though bullying has existed in schools for decades, that is no excuse to continue to allow children to be bullied. Researchers have gained new understanding of the dynamics of bullying and the roles of all those involved. 90003 The long-term negative outcomes of children who are bullied are too serious to ignore. 90004 For example, the CIA has reported that fully two-thirds of recent school shooting incidents in the United States were committed by youth who had experienced severe bullying by their classmates.90005 90002 Parents and teachers hold the power to work together to put an end to bullying and provide a safe learning environment for all children. 90003 In many cases, it will be the parent who must take charge of bringing the bullying incidents to the attention of school authorities. 90004 Parents should expect full cooperation from the school to resolve the problem. The result of reducing bullying in our schools is an improved school environment that is friendly and welcoming to all students.In schools where children feel protected from bullying, they are free to spend their days learning, building friendships, and dreaming about all the possibilities for their lives. 90005 90002 Share on Pinterest 90005 90208 90002 90051 Updated: September 6 2017 90052 90005 .